Y: I wanted to play Monopoly.
X: Monopoly is stupid, there’s no skill in Monopoly.
Y: There is skill.
X: No, it’s just luck. It’s boring and old, it’s what numbers you get on the dice, what cards. And it takes forever.
Z: This takes forever.
Y: This does take forever.
X: You’re making it take forever, it’s your turn. Go already.
Y: I’m thinking.
X: What with?
Y: O so amusing. Ok, who wants to trade me wheat for a brick?
X: How did you get a brick? The robber’s been on your brick this whole time.
Y: I have a brick, ok, who wants it for wheat?
X: Are you cheating? When did you get a brick? I know what cards you have, and you spent all your bricks trying to build the longest road.
Y: So what.
Z: And the largest army.
X: You stole the brick.
Y: I didn’t steal anything.
X: You’re totally cheating.
Y: I’m not a cheater. I’m not cheating.
X: You’re losing and when you lose you’re either going to cheat or rage quit, it’s coming. It’s happening.
Y: I’m not going to rage quit! And I’m not playing this game with you if you’re going to criticize and accuse me
X: Rage quitter.
Y: And accuse me of cheating!
Z: I’ll give you wheat for two bricks.
Y: I just have one.
X: You shouldn’t have any! Wait there’s a card under your chair, there’s like five cards under here! I knew it! You’re totally cheating! I knew it!
Y: I’m not!
X: I knew it! Cheater!
Y: They fell! They fell!
X: Total cheater! You always, always cheat!
Y: They must have fallen when we were setting up the hexagons! They fell! That’s it. I quit! I hate you and I quit. I’m not going to be accused like this, I don’t cheat!
X: And you’re a liar!
Y: I don’t have to listen to you.
X: When do you ever listen to me? When? This is you all over. You cheat at everything, not just games, this isn’t just games, because you can’t be bothered to actually commit to thinking your way through anything, then you lie about it, you lie about things you don’t even have to lie about, then you rage quit. Everything you do, everything in your life! I could murder you and society would thank me.
Y: I hate game night and I hate you. Actually, I take that back, I don’t hate you. I don’t care enough about you to hate you. You are nothing to me. No, wait, you are the robber! That’s who you are, you’re the robber! You sit on my resources all colorless and grey, all the time, and you block me from getting anything I want. You’re the robber!
X: You’re an idiot. I’m everything to you! I live in your head! God it’s like psychological warfare and the other side has no ammunition.
Y: Whatever, robber. I’m out.
X: Rage quitter.
Y: I am not rage quitting! You’re making me rage quit!
Z: I win.
Y: You always win.
X: Why do you always want us to play games? You make it sound like such a good idea and it turns into a battle with three losers
Z: Two.
