Against every Evil Rune Poem

How are you feeling, you ok? You don’t look so good. You’ve been reckless haven’t you, got a bit too close and breathed in. I know what you’ve been doing. But hey, no worries, too late now, not to dwell, it happens, it’s all good, you’ll be fine. I’ve got the cure right here. Read it, it’s English. Look at the first line with the big letter Ƿ (wyn, looks like a P sounds like a W). It says against every evil rune poem and also to counter stuff an elf might have done, write the Greek letters Alpha and Omega plus a bunch of other things including my name looking all Romano British. It doesn’t say where. I think right onto your body. Makes the most sense, everything else is written there. Go on, you are safe in my hands. We need to get you better. Done? Show me.

Has it kicked in yet? No? There’s more leechcraft you can do. Pound together blackberry (it says bramble apple but it means blackberry) lupins, and pennyroyal, and dry this stuff into a nice sifted powder. You’re going to have to find an altar or some such because next you put the dust into a pouch, lay it under the altar and sing nine masses over the dust. That’s a lot of mass singing to get one little rune poem out of your system but for christsakes don’t cut this corner. Trust me. You don’t take shortcuts when the gods are watching. Bring it all home when you’re done and bring some holy water with you because if you think you’re going to cure the effects of an evil rune poem without holy water you’re dreaming. You just need three drops. Stir the serenaded dust into milk with the holy water and drink it at 3am, 9, noon and 3pm. Set an alarm: you don’t look like you are in any shape to keep track of time. Think you can manage? This should work, for now, though everything is temporary. It says it works on cattle too. Now go lie down and try not to die. Honestly, I don’t feel sorry for you. If you are going to be exposing yourself to evil rune poems what do you expect?