Let’s worry about the thegns. We’ve worried about the thegns before, but these poor bastards have a lot on their plate. They’re the glam squad for a bunch of divas going to war, and it’s a lot. Have you ever gone to war? You need to bring a lot of stuff. Have you ever hung out with a diva? You need to bring more. Are you a diva? Then you know. Exacting standards. Everything perfect down to the last whatever. Don’t piss off the divas, they’re prickly. They’ll cut you. Just give them what they want, when they want it, or they’ll make your life a living hell. Detail detail detail. The divas didn’t just wake up like that, you think it’s easy to look good on a horse? You think that bow they’re carrying around looks impressive and dangerous just like that on its own? You know the answer. Beauty is pain and it’s the help who feel it the most. It’s long hours and hard work. They’re on it, though. This regiment has a regimen. They’re not kidding around. Those divas need to be seen. It’s all about making a massive impression, you better remember, and these thegns will get it done. They’ll kill themselves to make it happen. Fame is everything. The thegns will walk through thorns to get it for the boss and it will be worth it. To see them looking that fabulous? Totally.
