The rune carvers thought in pairs. They had a whole pronoun classification for the two that are also one, so it is no surprise to find pairs in the Rune Poem, matched thematically: the… More
The rune carvers thought in pairs. They had a whole pronoun classification for the two that are also one, so it is no surprise to find pairs in the Rune Poem, matched thematically: the… More
I do not advise navigating by the sun. It’s a mathematical mess with all parts in motion, the sun, the sea, you. Pure chaos. If you must get in a boat, stick to the coastline where… More
You don’t just play this game. It’s fun, yes, everybody battling peacefully united, but this is more than that and deadly serious. Focus. If you want to win you have to … More
You’ve murdered before. Good. Now you’ll want to refine your technique and go for a killing more subtle, more elegant. Undoubtedly your next move should be poison. It… More
You don’t choose to eat a birch tree, this is not food, but it is food adjacent. A birch tree is close enough to being food that at the end of winter when you are out of everything and… More
To calculate a new year or any other kind of newness, you must have some idea of oldness too. New is not new unless there’s an old. This truth requires a sense of a trajectory between… More
How to change the world? Invent something, something important. Look at the stirrup: a metal rounded triangle you can attach to a saddle as a place to put your feet. Very simple, basic,… More
You want to stab somebody with an icicle. Good. It’s best when the murder weapon disappears. Here’s the plan:
Acquisition of Murder Weapon
If you are harvesting from … More
Publius Cornelius Tacitus
Ingaevones Territory
Year 98 of the New Calendar
Gnaeus Julius Agricola
Governor, Britannia, ret.
Dearest Father in Law,
How are you, I am fine. Julia sends… More
You ok? You look a mess. Well, you knew this meltdown was coming. We all did. There were signals and patterns and that was a massive red flag back there, but no. Some people don’t… More
You look happy on the outside but I can still see you coming apart. It’s your whole vibe: you’ve got no zip, zero, nada, and look at you. Loved by your family, yes some of them… More
You’ve booked passage on the ship sailing farthest, doesn’t matter where. Good. Take to the sea. Three miles out and it’s a free for all, no rules, pirate radio … More
The light outside has turned green, hail is falling everywhere, and the tornado is upon you. Literally. Oferheah over head. Surviving a tornado can be a simple thing if you plan ahead… More
You are miserable, exiled in wretchedness. Why can’t you shake your anxieties? You are lacking in prosperity, that’s why. Your troubles are nothing a little abundance… More
It’s time to go. It is past time. If you need to get out of here yesterday you’d better do it with an eye on the future, that knife blade of a now you balance on will cut and run,… More
You can cut just about anybody out of your life. You already have, cut them dead. You’ve filled graveyards of disconnections. Good.
Regrettably you have always felt you cannot… More
Good luck summoning an Angel because you will need it. You’ll need good timing as well because the two of you, or however many, speak entirely different languages from each other.… More
Collect every medieval manuscript you can get your hands on, the best ones, the really beautiful and important ones. Make a who’s who of the famed and the fabulous and gather … More
Find a pine tree, a nice sticky one full of resin, that stuff will burn in rain. Look for dead branches, go for one near the base of the tree and cut it off as close to the trunk as possible.… More
You want to burn it all down, even the unburnable. Good. To burn it all down you’ll need a focus. Find out what it is that’s really pissing you off most, bring that bitterest… More
Ingredients (alphabetical order):
Cloth (warp + weft): strains.
Ferrus Sulfate (iron + sulfuric acid): darkens.
Gum Arabic (acacia tree + patience): thickens, adheres.
Hammer… More
So your gannet colony stinks of ammonia, guano, and a bit like fish, well what did you expect, they are gannets. Thousands crowding together. Eliminating. If your gannets are befouling… More
First you must gather your materials. You will need an an iron plow and a field, but not a square one. Long and skinny. And a pair of oxen yoked together. Try to find oxen who like each other… More
X: The sun’s going down.
Y: Wait, how do I run?
X: Control W, no hold it down.
Z: Don’t lose my stuff.
Y: How would I lose your stuff? Wait, I’m stuck. Where am I? Is this… More
Congratulations! You are going to war. You might be feeling rather heated at the moment and may be experiencing an urgent desire to get on with the war proper, but first you must declare… More
Don’t. What the hell are you thinking? Don’t grab the thorn. Why would you want to grab a thorn? Why? Are you insane? This is insane. I feel insane thinking about it. Ascertain… More
Look at yourself in a mirror or other reflective surface such as shiny metal or a pond. Be careful with ponds, you could fall in or get stuck there staring at yourself forever, wasting… More
First of all, in many ways you are doing a fine job on your own and you must be commended for that. For example your most recent pandemic is proving quite exemplary, but is alas, overcomable.… More
Congratulations! You have found a lucrative way to maintain your luxury lifestyle well into the future! If you wish to augment your capital, the perfume industry will pay excessively… More
Source a location. Ask yourself, why are you digging my grave? Have you recently murdered me or have I died of natural causes? If murder, you must source both a grave site and a hiding … More
First, you must find a reason not to live. There exists uncountable reasons but you must choose at least one and try to make it as ineffable as possible so the people you leave behind may… More
Get acquainted with the cow. Make friends. This is a collaboration, not a battle, so you must find a way to join forces despite the cow’s opinion of you. Ascertain the cow’s… More